Is marriage supposed to be a show of wealth? Seems like it.
The knot is finally tied! Families rejoice for a start of a new beginning. But then comes the major concern for all; the spending to be done. In recent times, weddings are held on such an extravagant level that many people have forgotten the true beauty and meaning behind weddings as told to us by the Islamic Law. Not only have they forgotten that but the idea of a small marriage?! It is totally out of the question now.
The concept of marriage and its functions has inclined a lot towards social status. So much that one cannot just think about marriage till the point he is “financially stable”. It is truly upsetting how some people use this event as a show of their wealth to the world-fancy hotel bookings, high class invitations, separate parties etc. But what’s worse than this are the people who come and basically “judge” the wedding finances. And these people take no part in the actual joy of the event.
Functions And Gatherings
An increase in the number of events; dholki, mehndi, barat, valima, is one of the reasons people spend so much on weddings . These functions ask for so much that many parents end up going into debt in order to fulfill the requirements. Besides the ones mentioned before, people have dinner parties, breakfasts and many more such gatherings weeks before the actual wedding. The mehndi function has recently taken over all the functions- dances and rasams with props escalating the budget even further.
Secondly comes the huge amount of invitations and people called. Huge gatherings also mean a vast menu which entails to food wastage. Food wastage is the worst result that comes out of huge gatherings. Moreover, people don’t even try to be considerate about it.
Then there in dowry; if the function’s budget wasn’t enough burden on the bride’s family this takes the cake. The blame falls upon our society as well who put pressure on the bride’s parents. Families have to start saving for their daughters long before, little by little, in order to be able to fulfill the requirements of the groom’s family. In the Holy Quran, however, the case is the opposite; the bride is supposed to be the one receiving the dowry as a free gift. But that isn’t seen anywhere, people tend to reject rishats just because the bride’s family is unable to satisfy the asked demands.
Many parents are forced to have fancy weddings, more than what they can actually afford, because “loug kia kahain gain?” Our society has been so judgmental when it comes to such matters; there are people who just come to the wedding to see the amount of wealth spent and to gossip about any shortcomings they see. Even when it comes to rishtas, a “rich family” is preferred by both families. And if incase one family isn’t as rich as the other, they aren’t given much priority since “rich is better”.
In my opinion all these trends require major changes- a family should only spend what they can and want without falling into debts. Even if it means having fewer functions with less people, which in fact would be better for the economy as well. Even if it means to lessen the dowry demands and other preferences that are related to wealth. As long as the two people love each other and have good financially stable families, nothing else should matter. And as far as the people and the society is concerned, let them be. Let them judge to their hearts content because honestly they have nothing better to do and telling them anything would accomplish nothing. These materialistic things shouldn’t matter or even compare to real things like relationships, love and trust. That is what should be flaunted at weddings not wealth.