Comparing your kids with others – Taboo

Oh, look at your cousin, she is so smart. Oh, look at your classmate, he is a topper. What, you don’t know how to speak English, so dumb. These are examples of some of the taunts we face in our lives. These comparing traits are built into the Pakistani society and peers. It has become a taboo and it goes without saying, they need to be changed. Let’s talk about some of these stereotype issues.

The need for competing with others:

It is surprising how we base someone’s intelligence and competence based on their grades. People don’t see whether the grading is based on theoretical memory or practical concept understanding. Some students are good at remembering and recalling word by word whereas some students are good at practical work and “on-field” tasks. We should not evaluate anyone’s worth based on the grades they have but by the level of intelligence and passion they show in specific fields. But the world isn’t ideal, students have no option but to excel in academia. They feel this pressure to be great or else their parents will be disappointed, and they will have to listen to all those comparing stereotypes like “look at you cousin, he/she got an A+”. This can have devastating mental effects including minority complex and feeling not worthy enough. That is why it is advised to not put this type of pressure on your kids.

Comparing to others:

Yes, everything is standardized. From the unit of time to the intelligence of a child. Standards are useful when it comes to concrete nouns and worldly affairs but creating a standard for your child to be like someone else can have devastating effects on a child’s mind. Repeatedly telling your child to compare himself /herself to other kids, to be as smart, as intelligent, as good looking, and as fashionable as the next kid is one of the root causes of inferiority complex. It leaves a child believing he/she has no self-worth from a young age and it can become the crux of their teenage and adult life problems. Moreover, it destroys the self-confidence on an individual, making them a follower, and not a leader.

Peer Pressure:

“be careful of the company you keep.”

Your friends can either bring you down or they can lift you up. Its your choices that determine who you friends are, so choose wisely. Its actually very simple, bad peer pressure can lead you down a dark path, whereas good peers help you achieve the goals you set out in your inception.

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