Abusive Marriages in Pakistan: A norm or an issue?

Pakistan has an ancient history related to domestic violence and abusive marriages. Men and women both are victims of this cruel norm. Yes, that is the main problem. In our country beating your spouse is not considered as violence. People usually use the term “Amelioration”. They think beating someone would improve them.

Normally women are subjected to violence by their husbands or in-laws. Many cases are reported annually. Some of the people get punished but some cases go unnoticed. There are so many reasons why abusive marriages are so common in our country.

  1. Influence of the Indian culture:

We used to live with Indians in the subcontinent and we can still see their cultural impact everywhere. Islam never allows a human being to harm another. People of this country don’t know what rights their religion has provided them. If people start following Islamic shariah then these cases will drop to zero. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) strictly prohibited Muslims to harm an innocent human.

2. Frustration:

Pakistanis are facing a lot of problems on a daily basis. The frustration is building up every day. When men cannot speak their hearts out to anyone they release their frustration by beating their wives. Women are considered lesser human beings in some parts of the country that is why they are used as objects. When men cannot find another way they do violence on their wives and try to prove their masculinity.

3. Influence of in-laws:

A woman is not married to a man but she is married to a whole family. Privacy is not the word known in our society. In-laws interfere with husband and wife’s matters. This type of thinking can ruin a happily married couple. Spouses are turned against each other by the influence of family members which results in domestic violence.

In Pakistan people stay in abusive marriages for all of their lives. This practice is very common, especially in women.  Women are not allowed to report the violence. There are so many cases of deaths or murders. These cases are not reported half of the time. There are many reasons why women prefer to live like hell then seek help.

  1. Parental Pressure:

Divorce is considered as the biggest punishment for women. Parents think if their daughter is divorced she will bring so much shame to the family. Parents encourage their daughters to bear the pain and beating instead of divorce.

2. Less Knowledge of Laws and Rights:

So many laws have been made against abusive marriages and domestic violence. But people don’t know about them. They don’t know where to report and what protocols to follow. Many people don’t even know what their basic rights are and what to do if you are deprived of them.

3. Children:

The main and most important reason people stay in an abusive marriage is children. Women lose their children when they are divorced or kicked out. Or if they are allowed to take their children with them it is really difficult for them to give their kids a healthy lifestyle. They don’t have anywhere to go after their divorce. Their parents or family don’t take them back. Women are not educated enough to take care of themselves. Homelessness and rescue centers are their only choices after divorces.

4. Societal pressure:

If women get divorced because she was beaten to death, society labels her as a bad woman. People think there is some problem with her. If a husband beats his wife society starts character shaming of that woman. They think she did something un-ethical to deserve this kind of behavior.

Also Read : Is Marriage Supposed To Be A Show Of wealth?

Marriage is a sacred ritual. It is a pure relationship between a man and a woman. They should both be educated on what their rights are. They should be prepared on how to treat others with love and respect. Parents should allow their children some privacy after marriage. If anything happens people should be encouraged to report. Laws should be made and they should be strictly implemented.

-Areeba Hussain