Marital disputes – Lack of One’s rights and responsibilities

Marriage problems

            Marriage problems have nowadays, become the most important hot cake to be discussed. Wherever you go, you face a talk of someone’s marriage problems. The problems are mostly due to lack of awareness of rights and responsibilities of husband and wife on each other. These problems not only affect spouses but also children and society. Hence, marital disputes are due to lack of one’s rights and responsibilities.

Most common marital problems faced by married couples are

1.  Infidelity

Infidelity is probably, the most common marriage problem in relationships. It includes cheating and having emotional affairs. Other instances also include one-night stands, physical infidelity, internet relationships as well as long and short-term affairs. It is a common problem and one that many couples are till now, struggling to find a solution to.

2. Values and beliefs
Marital disputes - Lack of one's rights and responsibilities
Marital Dispute – Values and Belief differences

Indeed, some differences and disagreements occur within a marriage, but still, there are differences too significant to ignore, such as core values and beliefs. One spouse may have one religion, and the other may have a different belief. This may give rise to an emotional chasm, among other common marriage problems. “Such marriage problems are prevalent in cross-cultural marriages.”

Other differences include core values. These include the way children are raised and the things they were taught, such as right and wrong. Since everyone does not grow up with the same belief systems, morals, and goals, there is a lot of room for debate and conflict within the relationship.

3. Life stages

In some instances, marriage issues occur simply because both spouses have outgrown each other and want more out of life from someone else. This is probably a common issue among married couples who have a significant age gap, whether it is an older man and younger woman or older woman and younger man. 

Personalities change with time, and couples might not remain as compatible as they once might have been. Couples with an age difference often face this common marriage problem. 

4. Traumatic situations
Marital disputes - lack of one's rights and responsibilities
Marital Dispute – Traumatic situations

Traumatic incidences add more challenge in the married life problems. These are other problems that couples may experience. A lot of traumatic events that occur are life-changing.

For some married couples, these traumatic situations become problems because one spouse does not know how to handle the situation at hand, may not know or understand how to function without the other or may require around-the-clock care.

Sometimes, the pressure is too great, and the responsibility is too much to deal with, so the relationship spirals downward until it comes to a complete end.

Also Read: Child marriage

5. Jealousy
Marital disputes - lack of one's rights and responsibilities
Marital Dispute – Jealousy

Jealousy is also considered the most common marriage problem that causes a marriage to turn sour. If you have an overly jealous partner, being with them and around them can become a challenge.

Jealousy in a relationship can be healthy, as long as it is not a person being overly jealous.

They may question who you are talking to on the phone, why you are talking to them, how you know them and how long you have known them, etc. Such jealousy will eventually end such a relationship.

6. Lack of attention

Humans are social creatures and are avid seekers of attention from others around them, especially those who are closest to them.

Every marriage overtime suffers a common relationship problem ‘lack of attention’ where a couple, intentionally or unintentionally, redirects their attention to other aspects of their lives.

This problem in marriage, if not dealt with appropriately, can then spirals out of control.

Other issues

The other issues include financial issues, lack of appreciation, trust issues, communication issues, etc.

Divorce – Not a Solution to every Marriage problem

The real challenge with divorce is that it does not define as a solution to every marriage problem, because the problems after the divorce do not disappear. In fact, divorce will create even bigger problems.

If you are unhappy with your marriage and think divorce will make you happier, think again. Chances are you have attributed the marriage problems and failure to your spouse, but if it were only one person’s failure, life would be much easier.

Marital disputes - lack of one's rights and responsibilities
Marital Dispute – Divorce

If you blame someone else for your marriage problems and try to change your partner instead of working on yourself, sounds like a convenient way to handle the stress, but in fact becomes long term pain. Walking away only seems easy but on reality, it takes many ups and downs. From my experience, divorced couples take their marriage problems with them to other relationships affecting most probably, the children.

To save your marriage and solve your marriage problems, the first step is to have realistic, reasonable expectations and demands regarding your marriage. If your expectations are irrational and unrealistic, you are likely to be disappointed and frustrated.

This will make you behave unconsciously in a way that might lead to separation. Yes, what I am trying to say is to be realistic and have reasonable expectations.

Having child right after marriage – good option or not

            Marriage is a beautiful act of worship. Isn’t it? Husband and wife tied together in marriage, live happy forever. Ups and downs are part of life, so, there is no need to worry about it. Be realistic, have reasonable expectations, be practical and enjoy this beautiful relationship. However, nowadays, lack of awareness about rights and responsibilities of spouses led to separation, most of the time. Wherever we go, whenever we sit with someone, there comes complaints regarding marriage problems and only one solution to it, DIVORCE. When asked the reason, both husband and wife complaints to not take care of children. So, right after marriage, before planning to have a baby, always look onto one selves of liability to rights and responsibilities. Before planning for kids, I think you should ask yourself

  • Are you ready for kid?
    • What kind of parent do I want to be?
    • What habits do I want to inculcate in my kids?
    • How much involvement of others will I need or ask while raising a baby?
    • Think how you plan go with your career?

Also Read: Abusive Marriages in Pakistan: A norm or an issue?

Hamza

I am fond of reading and writing. My sport hobbies are football and basketball. On professional basis, I believe in motivation and dedication through failures.