Do men also suffer from a toxic marriage culture?

Southeast Asian marriages are not only difficult for women and her family. Men go through the same pressure. In every society, men are expected to make a living for their families. They are pressured to get a good job so they can provide a lavish lifestyle to their family. Parents do not marry their daughter to a man who is struggling with his career.

There are a lot of demands from a woman’s family as well. They always choose someone who has his own house, a car, a bank balance, and a great job. Usually, people with government jobs are more preferred. These types of materialistic things have ruined the true essence of marriage. There are some ways in which men are also mentally pressured while getting married

  • Status of family:

Parents of the bride always find a family who is rich and have some elite status in their respective neighborhood. If a man is sincere, honest, and loyal but he belongs to a poor family he will never be preferred for marriage. People think marrying their daughters into poor families will bring shame to them.

  • Good Salary:

Men who have government jobs or are working with armed forces are most likely to get a good bride. People have made marriages of their children into a business. More the salary more the chances of getting married in a wealthy family. Parents now set a price on their children ad this is affecting married lives. More divorces are happening and domestic violence is increasing day by day.

  • Own House:

Men are expected to buy a house have a job and an amazing lifestyle if they want to get married. If a man does not have his own house or his parents do not have any property. There are very fewer chances for him to marry a woman from a wise family.

  • Responsibility:

In Pakistan, sons are always brought up with so much care. Mothers don’t teach their sons about the responsibility they are going to face after marriage. When they get married or have kids they don’t know what to. They put extra effort into their family which leads to overwork and depression. All of this can be minimized if men are also prepared for the marriage as women are.

  • Toxic showoff culture:

In many areas marrying their son is the most difficult part of a parent’s life.  There are so many traditions that the parents have to follow. They have to make gold for the bride. They have to present clothes and so many other things to the bride’s family.  They have to give thank you gifts to all the guests who came to the wedding. In some cultures, they have gift dresses to their own family members that they will wear at the wedding. All these can take up all of your life’s savings.

Also Read : Marriage, a love story or a deal?

  • Balancing between mother and wife:

The biggest issue in a marriage is that the groom does not know how to balance between his mother and his wife. This issue leads to every other problem in marriage. The men either ignore their wives completely or move in permanently with their wife and ignore their mother. Both of these choices are highly problematic. I think mothers should teach their sons from a very early age how to take responsibility and manage each and every relationship.

Men also face so many issues when they are getting married. According to me, all these issues are a society made, if we follow Islamic rules and regulation marriages would be much easier for both men and women. Parents should consider loyalty and truthfulness as the biggest characteristics of a man. They should never choose someone on the basis of their financial status. “In marriage do thou be wise: prefer the person before money, virtue before beauty, the mind before the body, and then thou hast a wife, a friend, a companion, a second self”. –William penn

-Areeba Hussain